How to make a long distance relationship work?
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If you found yourself being in a long distance relationship, you must be a maniac, masochist, and completely crazy person. Long distance relationships are crazy hard and you don’t want them. Believe us, you don’t want them. But once you realize how hard it is going to be, it is often too late and you are already in love. The only thing you can do now is give your best and make that relationship work.
Since we spend almost 2 years in a relationship like that, we like to think we are competent enough to give you some advice how to make a long distance relationship work. The following quote from the movie “The Notebook” describes it best.
“It’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” The Notebook
Define your goals and make clear what you want
Since the beginning, you need to make totally clear what you want from each other and which are your mutual goals. It can be pretty tricky and uncomfortable talking about those things because it might seem too serious at the beginning, but it is essential. You need to know what your feelings are and if the both feel the same about being in this kind of relationship and, eventually, about your future. Soon you will need to define your goals too. When are you going to be together? First maybe for a weekend, then vacation you are going to spend together and, ultimately, do you want to be together forever. You need to have the goal, but you also need to be patient. Best things happen to those who wait so don’t rush the things too much, but also – don’t forget that long distance relationships are meant to be temporary.
Now when you made sure you both want to be in this relationship, you need to be aware it is going to be very hard. Are you willing to do what it takes for the relationship? There will be days when you will miss the other person so much you just want to scream, leave everything and take the first plane to visit him or her. There will be days when you will just want to hug your better half and he or she will be 10 000 km away. You will need to remember yourself why do you want to be in this relationship and what do you like about a person every day. The only reason why you should be in this type of relationship is if you believe he or she might be the one and you want to work in your future.
As we said before, you need to keep in mind it is going to be hard. This kind of relationships are not for everyone and you need to make it clear is it for you or not. Can you deal with lonely nights? Can you trust your partner enough? Can you live with the fact Skype video call is the most similar to face to face contact you can get? You have the right to decide you don’t want this. That you want a real relationship in which you can actually kiss another person. But if you decide you want is, don’t forget that you are going to fight and sometimes the trigger is going to be just the fact you are not together. You can get very cranky because you can’t be with the person you love and in those situations, you will also need to be reasonable and remind yourself why you are in that relationship.
Communication is a key
Since you are far from each other, communication is the most important thing in your relationship. You need to talk a lot – but really talk – and you always need to find time for each other. You need to make the other person feel important just like you would if you were together. In order to get close to each other you need to share your lives, know some details about each other, talk about your friends, things you are doing, people you’ve met, talk about how your day was, … Also, don’t forget about the “little things” – good morning and good night messages and so on. Use the benefits of nowadays technology! All I can say is, we are sooo lucky to have the internet today.
Do things together
Even if he is in Mexico and she is in Europe, you can do some things together. Watch the same movie and talk about it, read the same book, work on some mutual project, make a web page (hehe) or just spend some time planning your future. Also, you can use the mobile applications for couples and upload different notes, pictures, important dates etc. There are so many things you can do together no matter how many kilometers are between you!
Cherish the moments
The moments you spend together in the long distance relationship are priceless. Don’t fight, enjoy others company in person or just during the Skype call. When you two are together, do the things you can’t do otherwise, no matter how banal and simple they are – watch a movie, go to the cinema, make a dinner together. “Normal” couples have no idea how lucky they are they can just drink a coffee together! Enjoy your relationship as much as possible and don’t forget to dream about the day you are finally going to be together. It is going to be worth it.
There are million of things you will need to face with while being in a distance relationship. But we only want to tell you one. Everything is possible. It will pass through. You can do it. 🙂
Do you have any other advice?
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